Recently Emma Watson gave a speech to the UN calling to invite men to join the fight for gender equality( as if they simply haven't been invited). She mentions the dwindling number of women (and men) who identify with feminism today and attributes it to a misunderstanding of feminist philosophy, that it has become a philosophy synonomous with "man-hating" to these individuals. This is a very simplistic argument that just doesn't ring true for most people shying away from the feminist label. The truth is more complex. So, please allow me to explain.
The problem mostly comes from the hijacking of the philosophical term by politically charged "liberals." I use both quotes and italics to point out that even that term has become so impregnated with the stench of statism that many classical liberals can't even call themselves such without feeling like they are misrepresenting themselves. It is much the same for some true feminists who may not be huge on government.
As a woman, it is difficult to not be a feminist. Yes, I want to be able to pursue any career opportunity without artificial obstacles being placed in my way. Yes, I want to be seen as more than just the my ability to procreate. Yes, I am tired of people's every judgement of me including my appearance. Yes, I want to be called a good leader instead of overbearing. Yes, I want to be able to buy birth control and an abortion if I feel I need one ( and I don't want to have to ask permission for any of it). Yes, I want the right to vote ( not that my votes have ever meant anything to anyone since I'm a third partier). No, I don't need your help. I just need you to get out of my way.
It's hard to be a feminist when the so called feminists argue in favor of government funded birth control and medical care in general, oppose second amendment rights, and consistently point out the weaknesses of and feminism failure in women who choose to be mothers, wives. It is hard to be feminist when a rape proof panty or a nailpolish that identifies a date rape drug is criticised by feminists for not addressing the cause of rape in the first place... men? It seems that to them it is as if carrying a gun for self defense, wearing protective garments, learning to fight, or simply not dressing in a sexually provocative way in an attempt to decrease risk of rape is wholly unncessary and somehow blames the victim. Suggesting to feminists that maybe we shouldn't get drunk and pass out at parties or maybe should avoid mind altering substances in mixed company to them comes across as blaming the victim. It seems like common sense to me.
At the same time these feminists portray us as weak; in need of public assistance, unable to reliably defend ourselves or get jobs that pay as well as men without legal intervention. We further expect to be treated the same, but then not to be given the same responsabilities ( for example, the draft! women don't have to partake- nor should any of us, but why discriminate?). I have been discriminated against in many ways in my life and for many reasons, from being an Alaskan in a state without a good university system or medical school, to being of a minority religion, to being a card carrying third party member. I have been sexually harrassed, physically molested and been condescended to by both men and women in positions of power. I have been sexualized and thwarted in love, taken advantage of and ignored. I have tried lesbian relationships and hetero relationships and have never felt like less for either. I have seen adult ob/gyn female residents single out the one pregnant girl on the rotation to bully and make fun of their own patients. I have seen laws that force employers of hourly employees to give maternity leave and breaks for breastpumping and feeding; while salaried professionals can get no such break(due to the sheer impracticality of it) even though the law "says so." I have seen Barack Obama call for publically funded preschool for all; while more and more families require 2 parent incomes (and SNAP, head start, welfare, government assisted daycare, and public school) to keep food on the table due to inflation and a corrupt banking system, the internal revenue service taking 40% of middle class ( what middle class right?) incomes yearly, medicare/medicaid and social security all coming from our paychecks before we even get to see them. Meanwhile, average salaries are similar to those seen 20 years ago, but a house costs 2-3 times what it did then. I have seen women with WIC buying their WIC groceries and then separately buying their junk foods that WIC won't cover with their own money, while I stand behind them in line with my own two kids, my own money, my own nutritious grocery choices, and my own contempt. I have seen eyebrows raise when they hear that my husfriend and I aren't legally married, but then act appalled when I say it is for the tax incentives(which it isn't), because yeah, it's better financially to be single parents( do the math this tax season). I am tired of hearing about legalising gay marriage at the federal level because I don't believe we should have to ask permission from our government to get married. Yet banning gay marriage actually occurred in my home state.
So, no, it's not man-hating with which I can't identify. The liberal feminists have simply replaced the protective and patronizing role of the man with that of the government. They continue to define us as weaklings, unable to make decent livings for ourselves, control our own bodies, or pay for our own food and children. Then they attempt to legislate further entitlements that make it impossible for those paying said tax to support a family on one income, forces women out of parenting roles, leaving children being raised by strangers with high turnover and Obama saying let's just take more from those rich folks ( you know, like me?) to pay for universal Head Start so more women can work ( because that is what all of us women want right? to work- no that's what the government wants, because they don't get any revenue if we just stay home and watch our kids- no income to tax). And the media and entertainment industries vocally support liberal feminism. Emma is part of the problem by not paying lip service to the true disinfranchised feminists out there who love men and love freedom and don't need a law to make things equal they just don't need laws to make them unequal... but that is what we have. Emma, and many liberal feminists like her, misunderstands the misunderstanding of feminism.
I am a feminist and my parents and brothers are feminists and they never told me I couldn't do something because I was girl. When I needed assistance, they supported me. I had two children out of wedlock while obtaining a higher education. I didn't use public assistance once. But I didn't alienate my childrens' father either. I have student loan debt and I pay a hefty price every two weeks out of my paycheck to the federal government for that and all their entitlements I never received. My state lacks income taxes, thank G-d. I pay for daycare for my children and my outrageous mortgage. I carry concealed and I collect dolls. I don't want my son to be stolen from me and forced to fight and possibly die when he turns 18 any more than I want my daughter stolen from me and forced to reproduce against her will. I will tell my children they can identify with whatever gender role they want. I want the government to stay out of it. I love men. I love women. I believe that no barriers should be artificially established limiting our opportunities or our abilities to pursue those opportunities. But, I don't need your help, Emma Watson, and I'm not asking for your approval, government.
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